September 28, 2004
Eternal Sunshine of...what?
I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. You know those movies that just make you think, and then you can't STOP thinking, and then your mind goes on overload, throws too much coal in your train of thought's furnace, and it goes flying off of a bridge with no connection over the massive chasm that is your subconscious? No? Well, at any rate, that's what happened, and now I'm delving into my subconscious, reliving old memories and such things. It's kind of interesting, and I recommend it highly.
I don't understand why people don't simply put cheese on ALL of their fried eggs. It's incredible, tasty, and oh so great on hamburgers! Think of what you're missing!
I made a discovery a while back that I was reminded of today. I realized that the Chili Mac that we have on Tuesday nights goes into the ministroni soup for wednesdays...isn't that horrid? It's like using an old shoe to make yourself a glove. Ick!
YEAH TOAST! *from a song, if you're wondering*
Posted by larry at 10:05 PM | Comments (1)
September 27, 2004
English Fix
Amazingly, I found English majors in Rolla to hang out with. They are currently sequestered in MAC B-floor. I spent about 3 hours over there being amused by clever wordplay and talking about poetry and books...hooray! It makes me happy to know that, indeed, I am not truly alone. I kind of felt like ET for a while.
In other completely irrelevant news, I had a piece of sunflower bread today. It was most excellent!
My waffle this morning went completely uneaten. I seem to have a time limit for eating, which starts after my first bite, and lasts approximately 15 minutes. Well, I had a bite, THEN made a waffle and got drinks and such, and my time limit ran out before I got to my waffle. What a horrid waste! At least it wasn't perfect, because then I would have to exile myself to a quickie mart somewhere.
Alright! I don't feel like toast anymore!
Posted by larry at 10:22 PM | Comments (3)
September 26, 2004
The Day After Things Ended.
First, my quote of the day: "I feel like toast just out of the blender." - said by me, to my roommate when he found me on the lounge couch.
Hi, I'll be your dustpan this semester. Oh, you're having a bad day? Just use a bigger brush...moving particles, like microscopic universes cast out by the greater mass. Ignorance, also like toast, can't be anything but what it is...crunchy. Everyone likes toast, everyone likes ignorance, and the dogs of war are happy with their bones to chew. It's all about the brush, though...you have to upgrade through the eons, adding bristles ground from human remains and fertilizer. Around and around the wheel turns, but you still can't lose yourself in a teardrop until you fix the ducts.
I'll tell you a secret. You have to keep watching that green streetlight, because when it goes out, so do you. You can talk to the old man about anything, but they'll never be able to see him. It's okay, though...death is just the Universe's laxative.
I just can't get my mind back together. I really do feel like toast from a blender, but with strawberries added in. It must be French, because no sane person would even try. I woke up in the lounge, and then I forgot how I did my laundry.
If you can follow this at all, please respond and tell me what the hell I'm talking about, because I have no idea.
Posted by larry at 01:04 PM | Comments (2)
September 25, 2004
This, my Saturday.
So, after a short and rather unfulfilling break from this online journal, I have returned. *cheers*. I really didn't know what to say about yesterday...it wasn't all that tremendously interesting. Today, however, was unique, painful, and exhausting all at once. Read on, oh subscriber to my insanity...
First, we had morning practice, which was unfortunate. We did a lot of 100's on various fast intervals, and made ourselves both tired and loopy. Immediately following practice, we went to the cross country meet to cheer folks on. Ah...before I continue, I should mention that we were all in boxers (with the crotch hole taped, of course) with letters painted on our chests. At the meet, we spelled various phrases for the runners, including "Go Miner Cross Country", "Git R Dun", "Groin Mess" and "S'more Gin". And, specially for the thermo professor running, we chanted "Entropy". The funny thing about THAT is, according to the theory of entropy, chanting entropy was bringing the universe closer to total annihilation and the utter state of non. Fun, huh?
Oddly enough, women seem drawn to men in boxers with letters on their chests. We got a lot of picture requests, until a creepy old lady in a chair yelled at us for being inappropriate. It was actually kind of funny...first she asked if we were a fraternity. That's a silly question...we throw much better parties than the Frat houses. And our female acquaintances never sleep with more than one guy a night. Then she asked if we were wearing boxers or swim shorts, to which the entire team replied a barked "Boxers"! I thought she would fall out of her chair at that one, but she recovered enough to start scolding us in that "I'm-old-and-I-didn't-take-my-laxative-today" voice that all old people seem to have. So we left shortly after that, and the day continues...
And, for those following the waffle-watch, I had an utter failure today...I put too much batter in, and the whole waffle iron started to lift apart, goozing semi-warm batter onto the entire counter. I think I will avoid making waffles when exhausted from now on...next time it might catch on fire, or start absorbing the butter. Then where would we be? We would have to somehow stop a waffle from absorbing the world, and that would take many knives and even more syrup to make it tasty. Sort of like a tripped out version of Strega-Nona...
Posted by larry at 02:20 PM | Comments (1)
September 23, 2004
A rather weird day...
Thursdays are kind of odd days for me. First off, there's morning practice, followed by...nothing until 2 pm. So I just kind of wander around in plaid flannel pants looking confused. Today, however, I felt MASSIVELY out of place...I walked outside to go get something signed by a teacher, and I found myself surrounded by guys in suits. It was one of those moments that results in a powerful blink. I later discovered that there was a career fair today that the engineering types went to for jobs and internships. As an english major, I never even heard about it...does that say something? I certainly hope not...I'll need money later in life to afford my waffles and syrup.
So the day actually began quite strangely as well. I woke up way too many times during the night, and every time I realized I was talking to myself. I was yelling at somebody unknown at around 2:30, and my roommate actually managed to sleep through it. I must say, this is the first time I've ever woken up and STILL been talking.
I think I actually had two waffles today, at breakfast and dinner. Score!
I'm obsessed with waffles, it's true. And why, you might ask? Or perhaps you didn't ask...but if you're here and reading this, chances are you are pretty freakishly bored, so I'll tell you anyway to prevent (or encourage?) your mind from turning into oatmeal resembling mush.
So one day, I had an almost perfect waffle. One of the guys on the team commented on the fact that it was indeed almost perfect, so I decided I should make it a goal to make a perfect waffle by the time I graduate. Perfect waffles, of course, have no holes, and no hanging off bits that are half-cooked. They must not leak the precious syrup at all from the golden squares I love so much. So that's the story...I don't know if that was at all helpful, but it's also not too important, because it's MY blog. I get to babble about whatever I want! The power....
Posted by larry at 09:28 PM | Comments (2)
September 22, 2004
Things I've learned...
I feel the need to expound slightly upon the nature of the things I've learned since coming to Rolla. These are things I never really thought I would learn, especially since I have never been to college before. But nevertheless, there are some very hard lessons to be learned once coming to a place where the men outnumber the women a solid 4 to 1. Here goes!
1. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liqour before beer, you're in the clear.
2. Not all types of alcohol are good...hence, Wild Turkey.
3. There is no such thing as a platonic friend. If you talk to a member of the opposite sex, you better damn well be ready to make a move. If you don't, she WILL get VERY angry with you when she figures out you don't want to sleep with her.
4. It is a mark of terrible shame for a girl at Rolla to have slept with any less than 3 guys since arriving in college.
5. Townies are not even remotely human...they are red-eyed insects sent to suck college-goers' lifeblood from them by any means necessary.
6. Milk was a BAD choice.
7. Turkey Burgers are a horrible thing to behold, and worse to actually ingest.
8. Walking 3 miles when slightly inebriated is difficult...doing it drunk is damn near suicide.
9. Captain Tractor does not a party make...but Dollar Mindy is a surefire thing.
10. Milk was a BAD choice.
Posted by larry at 01:37 PM | Comments (0)
September 21, 2004
Thus beginnith the BLOG.
So I have a blog now...this is an interesting thing, really. I've never had the means to record my thoughts before, not without significant effort of moving sticklike objects with pointy tips. Now I can just press buttons! Honestly, though, I haven't the slightest idea what Blog means. It seems to me that the ones I have read in the past have been Bitching Like Old Grandmothers..."my life sucks, I hate this person, classes are the bane of my futile flesh-dependent existence"...you know, that kind of thing. They were horridly depressing, and I stopped reading them VERY quickly. I simply don't understand why someone would post the fact that they are suicidal online.
In response to those aforementioned bitching-logs, I shall create a new type of log! Mine shall be the collection of my thoughts as they occur to me, or recaps of the bizarre ideas I have during swim practice. For example, I could tell of my first after-practice Icing from yesterday. It was the first of what will most likely be many icings, so I decided to capitalize it and dub it the First Icing...it happened on the 20th of September in the year 2004, and it shall be remembered for eternity in this funky cyber-journal. Hooray!
Posted by larry at 07:50 AM | Comments (0)