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September 22, 2004
Things I've learned...
I feel the need to expound slightly upon the nature of the things I've learned since coming to Rolla. These are things I never really thought I would learn, especially since I have never been to college before. But nevertheless, there are some very hard lessons to be learned once coming to a place where the men outnumber the women a solid 4 to 1. Here goes!
1. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liqour before beer, you're in the clear.
2. Not all types of alcohol are good...hence, Wild Turkey.
3. There is no such thing as a platonic friend. If you talk to a member of the opposite sex, you better damn well be ready to make a move. If you don't, she WILL get VERY angry with you when she figures out you don't want to sleep with her.
4. It is a mark of terrible shame for a girl at Rolla to have slept with any less than 3 guys since arriving in college.
5. Townies are not even remotely human...they are red-eyed insects sent to suck college-goers' lifeblood from them by any means necessary.
6. Milk was a BAD choice.
7. Turkey Burgers are a horrible thing to behold, and worse to actually ingest.
8. Walking 3 miles when slightly inebriated is difficult...doing it drunk is damn near suicide.
9. Captain Tractor does not a party make...but Dollar Mindy is a surefire thing.
10. Milk was a BAD choice.
Posted by larry at September 22, 2004 01:37 PM