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January 27, 2005
This, my daily waffle
It's a strange life, being an English major...I truly think that I reside in an alternate plane that just happens to parallel the one that everyone else lives in. I look at things, and I am amused because I think of how they could be framed within odd phrases. For example, I wondered today how I would describe the perfectly horizontal mustache of my English 60 teacher, before I decided that he rather reminded me of Yoda. He's short, he has really odd syntax, and I think he has been alive since the beginning of research papers, because he has created a hybrid form of MLA that must have come from the deepest, darkest pits of hell wherein a chilly Satan lies.
At the moment, I'm listening to a trippy little techno piece that has phrases from the original "Battlestar Galactica" series in it. I remember watching that show when my dad used to be obsessed with it, and I always wondered about that gigantic robotic dog. It was kind of like Scooby Doo of the 25th century, except that its sidekick was a timid little shit of a manling who always seemed to get himself abducted or otherwise in trouble. I hated that show...I watched it post-Babylon 5, which had the supremely awesome Vorlon ships. For anyone who watched that show, you know that those ships were the coolest things EVER. EVER!
Have you ever felt like the generation gap has become a chasm of epic proportions? I have felt this way of late...because I cannot escape the eternal "mothers-that-have-become-bored-with-their-lives" enrolled in my classes. I have absolutely no idea what business these creatures have in education, especially since they still use the phrase "all growed up." Note the improper usage of the NON-EXISTENT FUCKING WORD! I absolutely loathe the woman in my Adolescent Psychology class...she makes this horrid references to her childhood (which, by my estimation, took place sometime shortly after the second Ice Age), all of which take the form of idiotic and irrelevant statements phrased in such a way so as to make all English majors wince in excruciating ear-induced pain. If I knew how to use the World of Warcraft Banish spell to eject her from this plane into an ethereal one where large W's and X's could chase her for eternity, screaming lessons about how to use her native language...
Ah, wishful thinking. Isn't it lovely?
Large Rodents in Sparkling Pants Eat Waffles.
Posted by larry at January 27, 2005 10:09 PM