Larry Graves

I have decided to make use of Kennings, which are phrases used to depict certain people. For example, Hrothgar the King is referred to as the "helmet of Shieldings", referencing his protective responsibility to his people. I figured heck...I could do that! For example, I could make up a kenning called "He Whose Discontent Springs Eternal," and any English type that read it would know exactly what it meant, while the person it refers to would have at best a sneaking suspicion that it was intended as an insult. I can come up with more, as well...such as "He Whose Certitude Never Falters" and "Spurner of the Fair". Isn't this fun?

In other news, I was informed today that words and phrases can have sexual orientation. I was aware that nouns and such had Gender in languages like German and Spanish, but I had always thought English rather lacking in the department of linguistic genitalia. Apparently, I was gravely mistaken, as it turns out that all of the sexualities that mammals demonstrate are also mirrored in their words. For example, the phrase "I'm beginning to think I've sprouted horns," I have been assured, is most definately homosexual in composition. I don't think I yet grasp the fundamental concepts behind lingual sexuality, but can you imagine the implications?

For one thing, this would entirely explain slang. I had always suspected it to be the misbegotten progeny of some unholy union, but now I might be able to prove it! If the word "waste" can be considered masculine, and the word "breath" is taken to be feminine, then the word "of" could be inserted between the two words as a symbol of interaction, most namely verbal intercourse (trans. Word Sex). So the result of the union resulting from "Waste of Breath" is slang! I can now understand why the stubborn perversion of language refuses to cease its conquest of American culture...it's resentful of its parents, since they most certainly paid him little or no attention in his childhood. This is Slang-baby's way of getting back at his parents for his miserable upbringing! Eureka! Now, I must find a time machine to stop that union from ever occurring...I shall bring with me a Giant Eraser with the power of removing corruption where it appears.

On a completely non-related topic, I was just listening to a song called "Myelin Year," and I suddenly realized that without having taken Introduction to Psychology, I never would have realized that "Myelin Year" is a really quirky way of describing a rapidly passing span of time. And here I thought that I would never use psychology in my everyday life...silly me.

Well, my energy is more or less spent in the linguistic areas, which means it's about time to begin studying.

Tune in Next Time for...

As Many Words As I Can Coherantly String Together Without The Use Of A Single Period!
(AMWAICCSTWTUOASP)
(if you have any idea what the phonetic translation is for that monstrosity of an acronym, feel free to let me know. Comments are open!)