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April 20, 2005

Mario Forever

As of today, I have discovered something new and exciting...again. Although it cannot compare to the glory that is Equilibrium (see previous entry), it is still worth at least a few humorous blog paragraphs of description. My new finding is a game called "Mario Forever," created by some gaming studio in the year 2004. Apparently, some blessed soul in the Buziol Games company decided that, since Mario has been popular since its release in October of 1985, they should resurrect it in a Windows format for all the bored college students in the world, so as to provide a new excuse for not doing homework and reports (for which we thank them kindly).

So, Super Mario Brothers Forever is a graphically enhanced version of Mario that combines all of the versions together in a very strange way. Mario the original contributed most of the level designs, as well as the ever-present 'shrooms that make Mario feel about six times his normal size. From the original also comes the funny flowers that give Mario the severe indigestion and acid reflux required to vanquish his shroom-like enemies in spherical bursts of bouncing flaming death. The flowers, strangely, have now become epilepsy-inducers, since they flash more unidentifiable colors than a visualizer trying to deal with DJ IO at 245 bpm. The effect is the same, of course...Mario gains the ability to clear levels with style and ease, as well as being able to survive more hits.

Although much of the game remains intact, there is one glaring inconsistency that profoundly bothered my future roommate and I. Upon smashing Mario's head into a floating block, I was rewarded with a bizarre vegetable that rather strongly resembled a Mycon Podchild from Starcontrol 2. On a whim, I decided to let Mario eat said pod-fruit, and he gulped it down with apparent glee. He immediately sprouted a tuft of plant growth that looked kind of like the ears he used to get from that red maple leaf in Super Mario 3. Then, when I hit the fire key, I was shocked to discover that Mario had gained the ability to throw a newly devastating weapon...bouncing beets. Yes, beets. Large, brown, tufted beets that bounce back and forth three or four times before giving up the ghost and descending into the nether realms beneath the screen. Since the original Mario Brothers must have been conceived by someone on an acid trip (e.g. the ENTIRE game taking place in a plumbing system with castles), I can only wonder what the beet-makers were taking at the time.

Amazingly, the game is actually quite difficult during boss-time. To the beat of incredible techno, Mario must jump on Bowser's head four or five times before he falls into the lava pit, only to return the next level. The firebolts that Bowser fires are directionally challenged, since they move all around the screen. Also, fireballs pop up from beneath the bridge, making killing the bastard damn near impossible. I'm convinced that being able to beat ANY of the Mario Brothers games will result in an improved outlook on life...namely, that after beating Mario Bros, absolutely nothing in life can compare in difficulty. Either that, or I'm quite possibly the most pathetic creature on earth, having found myself quite unable to pass through level 3 of any of the games.

Curse you, Mario!

Posted by larry at 12:31 PM | Comments (27)

April 17, 2005

Equilibrium

I'm not entirely sure why this movie isn't more widely known, but having just seen it, I can honestly say that "Equilibrium" is one of the most mind-numbingly incredible films that I have EVER seen. Couple that with the fact that it has an orgasmic soundtrack, and I think it may well rank as the best cinematic experience that I've ever had from my computer. Anyone who reads this blog is now obligated to see the movie in some form, simply because not doing so should be against moral law.

"The Matrix" has absolutely nothing on "Equilibrium" in any sense, including the massive scale of ass-kickery that reduced my teammates and myself to a state of drooling admirance. Though The Matrix does have some rather inspiring martial arts scenes, they pale in comparison to the fighting found in Equilibrium. I haven't the slightest idea how, but the producers managed to take gunfighting and turn it into a unique kind of martial art that I can only describe as "Gun Fu." The main character routinely manages to destroy crowds of gunwielding hostiles with unparalleled style and "badassness," leaving the viewer with a marked desire to acquire a jacket that automatically reloads one's firearm while simultaneously providing hidden slots for said firearm. Incredible. Simply incredible.

I won't say anymore about the movie, save that everyone on earth should be legally required to watch it at least once. As for me, I'll be seeing again tomorrow night, and the night after, and the night after...

Posted by larry at 07:23 PM | Comments (1)

April 10, 2005

The reasons why...

So I think I may have discovered the reason that so many people choose to partake of mind-altering drugs on a semi-regular basis. My theory has a lot to do with social conventions and current acceptable lifestyle choices, but a lot of it has to do with experience. Well, more accurately, the act of experiencing, since that becomes the center of all mind-altering drugs anyway. In any case, read on.

To begin, we must first understand the society in which we live. Currently, we are expected to be eternally progressing through an increasingly meaningless heirarchy of social status, with the position of "student" being suspended somewhere in the leftmost regions of Limbo. Yes, for it is we the students who simultaneously prepare for the future and are the future. So, since we really don't have any way of dealing with this seeming paradox, we get a social moratorium for a few years of our lives. But, I digress.

In our wonderfully consumer-driven economy, activity is idolized, and laziness is generally frowned upon. Oddly enough, television watching is considered a form of activity by the masses, but the activity of which I speak is of a more productive nature. We must ever be striving to further ourselves, increase our knowledge base, expand our vocabulary, and generally rise toward the elusive status of either Expert (with a doctorate) or accepted Renaissance Man (by which I mean excessively opinionated dilettante...or to be more trite, a "Jack of all trades, but Master of none"). Thus, we are driven to succeed, and to prepare for success, because we know of no other way to make a life for ourselves.

Add into this equation the fact that religion has fundamentally changed in America since its inception in the notorious form of Puritanism. Now we are a country that features a number of nearly disparate religions, but the majority of our country subscribes to Catholicism and related sub-sects. Now, these religious institutions seem almost universally to have accepted the policy of "Live Life, Love God," in that order. For how can anything spiritual ever hope to compete with the encroaching "Day Upon Which Bills Must Be Paid" which haunts every family in America? Leaving aside the sometimes lamented claim that consumerism is fundamentally incompatible with any sort of religion (save possibly the power-seeking forms of Black Magick that reside in dark-background webpage chatrooms), we are still left with an incomplete acceptance of spirituality, which leaves something of a void in the average person's consciousness.

Truly, I believe that we are living faster than the speed of life. In our hurry to accomplish what must be done, we neglect to notice the very things that make life worth our ever-so-precious time. For example, sitting in a chair, or on a floor, and just feeling the universe around you, or experiencing the ebb and flow of the currents created by music.

As a result, it is up to the individual to either find a way to slow down his or her own life (which seems more or less impossible), or to otherwise find an alternate source of temporary subduing the speed of existence. Only when abusing (which, for reference, is usually defined as ANY use, no matter what quantity, of a forbidden substance) mind-bending drugs like marijuana or other depressants can the individual ignore accomplishment for a sufficient duration so as to truly experience life. Not the life that they must confront, mind you...merely the life that exists regardless of every social attempt to destroy it. The life that says that finding a different perspective from time to time is not only okay, but is an imperative for deeper understanding. And drugs do provide exactly that: a change of perspective for the user. For a time, the eyes of man become transcendent, and suddenly the user is experiencing existence through the eyes of everything, with no thought or situation beyond consideration. If that isn't an opportunity for greater understanding, I don't know what is.

I can't say that I approve or disapprove of drug usage, because I can get myself in quite a bit of trouble by going either way. But I will say that, for the first time, I think that I understand the appeal, or even the need.

Posted by larry at 10:11 PM | Comments (1)

April 08, 2005

Writers Trance

This is my "writer's trance," the place where all but me are suspended in a pure blue ocean, defying the gravity that binds us. And thus, mortality is not my predator, stalking my adventures with promises of a reversal of body dance movements undulating with ribbons of golden hair...

"This is what you get" says Radiohead...but that's just the problem, isn't it? We're all trapped in a glowing green orb with clear skies making a marble with the blue. A blue little marble that a universal kid plays with in a spectacular game of conquest. The same conquest that comes of the acceptance of the fact that all we are is NOT, in fact, all that we can be. Our luminescence is limited only by the knowledge of our opacity. But are we truly opaque? I think that each soul has a blinding ocean of essence with the ability to manifest itself in other ways...the way you can see a person crying, and feel the colors that they experienced fading to the eternal white that claims us as captives. And that is the white light that we must escape. Darkness isn't good or bad, but rather a change in perspective. So, to truly become, we must first succumb to the shadows.

Posted by larry at 02:08 PM | Comments (1)